For both you and me
Hey, it's me. I know it has been a while, but I thought I'd check in and share some recent discoveries, as you may call them.
The start of this year has been a whirlwind for me to say the least. Over January, I managed to have my art instagram account stolen from me or hacked. I also suffered a bad fall at the skatepark, causing a concussion, back, and neck pain. These events have caused me great physical and emotional pain. I have lost contact with many of my followers and friends online, including contacts of galleries, clients, and more. I lost all that I worked for, and that caused me a lot of grief. As a result of the concussion, my complex PTSD has flared up, leading to me reliving memories that were damaging from my past. My mental health and physical being have been thrown amuck and throughout the past couple of weeks, I have been trying to sort my life out. And looking through, trying to see what I can do for myself, I have learned that I need to let go and trust the universe and it's process. I learned that my past of constantly being screwed over has haunted me to this day. I didn't believe that good things came to me easily. My life has always been a constant fight with lots of resistance, and I have been taught lessons that were not helpful to me in the end. Trauma has a way of twisting your mind to believing things that aren't true or right. And after all this happening this month, I realized that my trauma was the one deciding how fast I heal, and could be even slowing it down. It was telling me to stay down, and I got stuck there.
I'm starting to feel better because I decided to chose myself over all that has happened. I am putting myself first, diving back into my art and writing, and have even gotten back on my skates (slowly). I started a new instagram page called @ominousoutlooks , and am already regaining my followers. I have hope that I will get back to where I was or even better because I am believing in myself, and trusting the process. I will just have to have some patience along the way.
I hope, in reading this, you will gain something from it, as I always want with my art. Maybe you are struggling. Believe me, I have been there, and it sucks. However, there are people around you that support you (if not, I'm always here). Reach out, trust the universe, and put yourself first. And don't let your past control you.
Emily of Ominous Outlooks